How to Use Muslim Marriage Apps: the Definitive Guide

If you apply the social selling tips I’m about to share with you, the bints who read your profile on muslim marriage apps will have to redo their wudhu or even do ghusl ;)

I wrote this guide for Muslim men in collaboration with No Strings Nikah (NSN). The app has since been discontinued. So the examples and tips are with NSN in mind. However, you can apply the principles to any marriage app.

As you read this guide you'll notice there are more layers to NSN than your standard Muslim marriage apps that are Tinder clones. Nevertheless, the reality of all marriage and dating apps are the same: the math is not in your favour. And so, you must become a profile-maxxer.

I'm going to give you a framework you can apply to any social media profile to achieve whatever outcome you want. Wanna get job offers? This framework. Wanna promote a business? This framework. Wanna get multiple no strings bints begging to be cowifey? This is the framework you use.

The framework I'm about to share has been used by marketers and advertisers for about 150 years. Or pretty much since marketing has been a thing. It's called AIDA.

• Attention

• Interest

• Desire

• Action

We'll go over each one individually.

Attention

The first step in any sale is getting noticed. If you don't get noticed, you don't sell. It's as simple as that. NSN has a community section that functions like a social media timeline. Members can post, like, and leave comments. This is the first point of interaction on the app and it's where men and women can "discover" each other's profiles.

Say a bint is scrolling and one of your posts crosses her feed. This is your opportunity to get her attention. Have you ever watched women scroll IG on their phone? You have a split-second to stop her from scrolling and read your post.

The simplest way to do this is to make something like this the first line of your post:

DUBAI / NSN OPTION 1 / ME: 40, ENTREPRENEUR, MARRIED

Bold, ALL CAPS. And then go on to say whatever else you want to say.

What we’re trying to do here is call out our target prospect. I dunno about you but I don’t want to fly halfway across the world for some 35-year old punani, so my target prospects are in my city.

Then I use another identifier to filter the prospects, in this case the NSN option. This is similar to writing, “Attention: Dentists in Dubai” at the top of an advertisement. And for those of you who're unfamiliar with NSN terminology:

• NSN Option 1 = a conventional nikah with all the strings (i.e. all the rights and responsibilities of a husband and wife)

• NSN Option 2 = some of the strings

• NSN Option 3 = none of the strings

Finally, I hint at the offer by describing myself. She’s going to want to know my age, what I do for a living and whether or not I’m currently married. By this point she’ll have decided whether she wants to keep reading.

The above is a solid headline and sure to get a bint’s attention. Feel free to copy it. But it’s not the only kind you can use. We don’t have time to go into detail but if there’s interest, I’ll write another post about it.

There is one problem with a post like this and it’s due to the community feed. Because it’s chronological, your post will soon get buried by new posts. This means posting once ain’t gonna cut it. You’ll have to do it once a day or several times a day depending on how aggressive you want to be.

This can come off as spammy. And imagine everyone doing these posts several times a day. The community feed will become a poor experience at best and unusual at worst. So use this “hard sell” post in moderation.

A better option for regular posts would be to follow the 3 Es: Entertain, Educate, Elevate. Make people laugh, teach them something or inspire them. Or do all three at once, like my “How to Network With People” post.

Another feature of NSN is the leaderboard.

They've gamified the app to add an element of social status. Your engagement on the app gives you points and members are ranked. Here's the top 10 at the time we published this guide.

For now, the leaderboard rewards quantity over quality. But you can get a lot more mileage out of your posts and comments if you put some effort into it.

Ultimately, I think posting video and photos will do a lot better for most members than text. Because unless you have something worthwhile to say, or some expertise to share, your posts are just noise. Not only that, you have to be a good writer. Most people suck at writing.

One member posted videos of his wife tying his shoes and washing his feet. Excellent content. I was stopped in my tracks and compelled to press play.

There are two additional benefits to posting photos and video. First, they take up more screen real estate on the app and are therefore more likely to get a bint's attention. Second, there are photo and video sections in your profile that'll be populated as you post, allowing allowing a bint to browse them when she checks out your profile.

Interest

So you’ve got her attention. What next? You want her to click through to your profile and read it. Your post, if done right, will start to get her interested. Your profile will do the rest.

How will a bint read your profile? My best educated guess is attached in the screenshot. This is based on eye-tracking studies and my personal experience.

1. Profile Photo

The first thing she’s going to look at is your profile thumbnail. It’s tiny. Because it’s tiny, the profile pictures the vast majority of you have uploaded are useless. They’re zoomed out, so they can’t see you. If they can’t see you, you won’t get her interest. And she won’t bother reading your profile.

Also, there is no feature that allows you to expand a profile photo after clicking through to someone’s profile. So even if she clicks through, she won’t be able to get a proper look at a lot of you.

Your profile picture should be a headshot in good light with you looking straight at the camera. Your entire face should be visible. Make sure you’re well-groomed. Dress in the way you want to be perceived by the opposite sex. If you look like a scrub she’s going to think you’re a scrub. I’m seeing profile photos of grown-ass men in ratty t-shirts with sweat stains on them. Wa gwan?

Pay for professional headshots. But if you’re too cheap to invest in proper headshots and you insist on doing it yourself, ask someone to hold the phone so they can use the back camera and you can stand straight and relaxed. People don’t know how to take a selfie headshot properly and end up looking awkward.

Oh, and remember to squinch.

If you don’t want to show your face, you’re lowering your odds of success. You’ll have to make up for it in other areas of your profile.

Assuming you’ve intrigued her enough, she’s going to click through to read your profile. And the first thing she’s going to do is scrutinize your profile picture. People make split-second judgments on whether or not they want to do business with someone. And a marriage is the ultimate business deal.

2. Cover Image

The second thing she’s going to look at is your cover image. There are three approaches you can take here.

The first is to use the cover image to showcase an interesting lifestyle. I would use a collage of two to four images. For this to work, you must first live an interesting life (see my previous post about attention.)

The second is to use the images to convey your personality or present yourself in a certain light. For example, if you’re a man who puts a premium on seeking Islamic knowledge, you can include photos of you studying, attending classes, and so on.

The third is to use the cover image like a billboard advertisement, with a headline and a call-to-action. Or just a headline. Here, you can use the headline to communicate your lifestyle, your personality, your interests, the type of woman you’re looking for, or to make a big claim or bold promise.

One thing I think would be interesting to test is some kind of suggestive remark. If you watched Mahdi’s recent streams revealing the anonymous messages from bints talking about their sexual proclivities, you’ll come to this conclusion: Gyal dem ah horny bruv.

In fact, you’d be surprised at how forward you can be. For example, if you posted a cover image with the headline:

I believe you’d get many more bints sending you connection requests, and accepting your connection requests, than if you’d present yourself as a Molvi Sahab.

3. Your bio/description

The next thing she’s going to do is read your bio. An “about you” section is never about you. It’s about the person you’re selling to. The same applies to marriage/dating bios.

Start off by talking about what you can offer to a bint and what value you bring to a relationship. Now, you could talk about facts and figures here. “I’ll give you x, y, and z.” Some bints may find value in that. What I think would be more effective is to talk about how you’ll make her feel. A good way to do this is to get her to imagine a world in which she’s married to you. And you literally start off with “Imagine this…” or “Imagine a world where…”

Once you’ve described what value you bring to a relationship, then you can talk about what you’re looking for. I would only mention deal-breakers here because ultimately, finding a marriageable bint is a numbers game.

4. Photos & Videos

Finally, she’s going to check out the photos and videos you uploaded. I mentioned in part one that photo and video posts would be more valuable than text-only, and this is one of the reasons why.

I’m guessing that many bints won’t bother reading through your timeline section, where they can see all your text posts. But almost all of them will check out your photos and videos. This is your chance to show them you’re about that life. In addition to this, video (and audio) help to develop relationships with viewers/listeners much faster than text can with readers.

In fact, I believe the perfect “wife wanted” post would combine:

• The headline formula I mentioned in the "Attention" section of this guide

• A short video introducing yourself to the bints of NSN, and

• A description using the tips in the "Interest" section three of this guide.

You might get 80-100% of the bints watching you as opposed to 20-30% who’d read a text-only post. And here are the results.

Desire

If you’ve gotten her attention and piqued her interest, desire builds up passively. Trust me, there is no story you can tell about yourself better than the one she’ll make up in her head.

A bint may tell you “when I read your posts I fantasize about you tearing my clothes off and having your way with me.” Another may offer to be a side chick. It happens.

Obviously, these are all inappropriate interactions and I would never encourage them. Don’t fall for a bint’s tricks. Gyal out here like Shang Tsung bruv, ya get me? She gets none of your attention besides the minimum necessary to get nikah’d up.

I imagine a NSN interaction between you and a prospective bint going like so:

• Attention garnered via your posts

• Interest built via your profile, enough to connect and start talking

• Desire created through a conversation

• Action when she agrees to take the next steps

But to take an active role in creating Desire is to make a compelling offer. You’ve all seen offers everywhere. 50% off. BOGO. Free Delivery. Results or you don’t pay. Lifetime guarantee. In the same way, there’s an offer you can make for a marriage. She has to want to buy what you’re selling.

I can’t give you specifics here because your interactions will determine the “offer that converts.” Conversion meaning she takes the action you want her to take. And while there may be some nuances, all bints want the same thing.

• Male leadership

• Safety and security

• Entertainment

She wants a man to lead her because her nature is submission. She’s the f***ee not the f***er. She wants to turn her brain off and be a bimbo.

She wants to feel safe because she’s weak, physically and emotionally. She doesn’t want to end up in a cardboard box with some nutter wearing her skin. Her ex was abusive and toxic because he raised her voice at her one time and another time he told her to fix her hijab.

She wants to be entertained because she’s bored. Have you ever met a bint with hobbies? Have you ever met a bint who can stand being bored for more than 5 minutes? Have you ever met a bint who can sit in silence?

If you’re able to give her those things, she’s yours. And while the offer you make will have to be modified based on the NSN option she wants, it will always have to check the above three boxes.

If you’re able to demonstrate you have your s*** together, you check the leadership and security boxes. If you can show her social proof that you’re normal and not a weirdo, you check the safety box. The entertainment box can be checked by cultivating an aura of mystery about you. If you can give her butterflies or hints of an emotional rollercoaster even before you’re married, you’re in.

So you've found a bint. Now what?

It doesn’t matter if you are a Muslim, Christian, or atheist, the fundamentals of women are the same the world over. You deserve a woman in your life who is:

✅ Loyal
✅ Submissive
✅ Family-oriented
✅ Supportive
✅ Ready and willing to cook, clean and ****

It’s not too much to ask, is it? The truth is, women like this are everywhere, and surprisingly common. But ONLY if you know the secrets of how and where to look.

Get AbuAmerican's Vetting Guide 👉

Action

You want to get her out of the NSN app and into real life ASAP. The more you talk to her, the faster she’s going to get bored of you. There are 37 other akhis trying to slide in her abaya. Supply and demand.

In the DMs, you’re all just words on a screen. Get her out in the world and now you’re the one guy who’s real. If I put up a bunch of yellow post-its on the wall, your eye won’t be drawn to any one post-it. But if I switch one of the yellows with a red, guess where your attention goes? Basic psychology.

Uncertainty is a major factor in why you’ll lose the “sale.” Do you have a plan for your No Strings Nikah?

How soon are you going to talk to her wali after connecting with the bint? If she has no wali, do you have trustworthy people who can assume that role and look out for her best interests?

How are you going to do your due diligence to make sure she’s not bipolar? There’s a reason these bints are divorced with multiple baby daddies.

Do you have money set aside for the marriage expenses? Just because she wants NSN option 3 don’t assume the marriage won’t cost anything. Or that she’ll be willing to pay for anything. I don’t care how much money she makes, making her pay for anything is the fastest way to dry up her hoohaa like the Empty Quarter (that’s a desert in the UAE.)

Have you thought through the logistics? Who’s going to conduct the nikah ceremony? Where are you going to smash? Do you have an apartment for side tings or will you be booking hotel rooms? How often will you link up? Logistics are 90% of the battle in getting your peepee wet.

…And much more!

If the two of you decide to move forward, you must make it clear that you have a plan and describe it to her. You don’t have to go into excruciating detail, but she should have the gist. When she knows you’ve thought all this through and have everything under control, it’ll help to alleviate or remove any uncertainty she has around moving forward.

Closing Thoughts

Men love to complain dating/marriage apps are a waste of time because of x, y, or z. Or complain about how hard it is to find marriageable women. But this is a bitch-made attitude. When has anything worth having ever been easy? Why should pumpum be any different? And if it was easy, everybody would have it and it wouldn’t be worth a lot.

But that’s the beauty of being a man. We’re able to impose our will on the world and create any reality we want for ourselves. No man starts off jacked and tan. No man starts off successful. No man starts off with a harem of bints.

The Game is the Game. Play or be played.

Use the tips in this guide to maximize your chances. And you’ll end up with 4 wives and 40 children, inshallah.