The Definitive Guide to Halal & Haram Sex Acts

You’re probably here because you had a question about whether a particular sex act is halal or haram. Judging by the search queries that lead people to this article, we Muslims have a lot of kinky questions. Here are just few examples:

The good news is you’ve come to the right place. The bad news is some of the kinky stuff you are hoping is halal, isn’t. However – and this is more good news – there are many bedroom shenanigans that are halal.

Honestly, I was surprised at just how much erotic fun husbands are allowed to have with their wives and vice versa. So, if you’re married, you’ll enjoy this article very much. If you’re a bride- or bridegroom-to-be, you and your fiance should use it as homework. And if you’re single, with marriage far off, go read some Quran (you might get a little excited reading this.)

Why I Wrote This Article

I used to spend a lot of time on Reddit’s r/islam subforum. It’s a place where a lot of questions get asked that Muslims would be shy to ask IRL. One topic that would come up fairly regularly – sex in Islam. Specifically, what Muslims are and aren’t allowed to do in the bedroom. For example:

This questioner is asking if rim jobs – that is, orally stimulating the anus – are haram

Questions about oral sex – fellatio and cunnilingus – are the most popular.

Soon-to-be married men and women turn to r/islam for sex advice. Aside from my annoyance at people being too lazy to do their own research, I got tired of seeing the same questions over and over again. So I wrote a detailed comment about it and linked it whenever the issue came up. That’s what inspired this article.

General Guidelines About Sexual Intimacy In Islam

First, I’m going to state the obvious. We are not talking about pre-marital, extra-marital, or homosexual sex. It goes without saying that these are all haram. When we talk about sex in Islam, we’re talking about a Muslim man and a Muslim woman who are married to each other. In this context, Here are some general rules:

• Everything is allowed except anal sex and period sex (that is, sex while the woman is menstruating.) [1]

• Use your best judgment and when in doubt, err on the side of caution. This is a good practice in all matters, worldly and religious.

• Both spouses must agree to what they are doing during intercourse. You are not allowed to force your spouse to do something he/she doesn’t want to do.

• If someone tells you a particular sex act is haram they need to prove their claim. This is because, in worldly matters – things that aren’t acts of worship – everything is halal until proven haram.

There are slight differences in rulings depending on which madhab (school of law) you follow. Some are more strict than others. The fatwas I’ve included in the article are all from Shafi’i and Hanafi scholars. At the time I researched this article, I couldn’t find any Hanbali or Maliki references.

For the rest of this article, I’m going to list the sex acts and summarize my findings. I’m not going to go into technicalities unless necessary. If you want to know the details, please read the linked fatwas.

Are Blowjobs Halal Or Haram?

Blowjobs are allowed. There is some disagreement as to what extent fellatio/cunnilingus is allowed, because of the consideration that one must not get needlessly filthy.

Pre-cum is considered filth, so the husband/wife will get it in his/her mouth, and on his/her face and hands. One can get around this by wearing a condom/dental dam. Another opinion is that ‘spreading filth’ is a natural part of sex between couples, so the pre-cum that is spread during fellatio/cunnilingus is normal and not a problem. You can follow whichever of these opinions you are most comfortable with.

Note: the same considerations apply if you want to cum on your wife’s face (sometimes called a “facial”) or her body (like a “pearl necklace.”)

Is Eating Pussy Halal Or Haram?

It is permissible to perform oral sex on your wife. What’s interesting to note is that in medieval works of fiqh (law) our Islamic scholars mention the man going down on the woman and not the other way around. And they explicitly mention him kissing/licking/sucking the clitoris, the location most likely to bring about her orgasm.

Is Swallowing Cum Halal Or Haram?

Swallowing cum is not allowed – whether the man’s or the woman’s – because it is not permissible to ingest filth. [2][3] Wash your mouth out when you’re done.

Is Eating Ass Halal Or Haram?

This is allowed based on the fact that blowjobs and eating pussy are allowed. Don’t penetrate the anus with your tongue or swallow any filth.

Is Fingering Halal Or Haram?

Fingering the vagina: The wording of this fatwa implies that it’s allowed to finger your wife.

Fingering the anus: According to this fatwa, anal fingering is not allowed. But you can massage the anus with a finger or rub your penis on it without penetration.

Are Handjobs Halal Or Haram?

It’s ok for a wife to give her husband a handjob, according to this fatwa.

Is Masturbation Halal Or Haram?

Masturbation is not allowed according to the four schools. However, the Hanafis and Hanbalis say if you are afraid you might fornicate, then you can masturbate to relieve yourself. Mutual masturbation between a husband and wife, on the other hand, is allowed (see the fatwas on fingering and handjobs above.)

Rubbing The Penis On Other Parts Of The Wife’s Body

According to this fatwa, a husband can rub his penis between his wife’s breasts (known as a “titty bang”) as well as between her buttocks (known as a “butt job.”)

Is Cumming In Your Wife’s Mouth Or On Her Face/Body Haram Or Halal?

With regard to sex acts like throatpies, facials, pearl necklaces, etc., the same considerations about spreading filth apply that I mentioned earlier. If you take the opinion that needlessly spreading filth is not allowed, then ejaculating in your wife’s mouth or on her face/body is not allowed.

Is BDSM Halal Or Haram?

BDSM is an acronym for Bondage, Dominance, and Sadism/Masochism. According to this fatwa, BDSM is allowed as long as both the husband and wife agree to it.

Are Sex Toys Halal Or Haram?

Sex toys are allowed – like dildos and vibrators – but only during sex (not for masturbation.) They should only be used to stimulate the wife’s clit and not inserted into the vagina. [4]

Note: It doesn’t make sense to me why Hanafis would say it’s OK for you to finger your wife but not stick a toy in her vagina.

Are butt plugs haram?

I haven’t found any fatwas on this. Better to err on the side of caution.

Are Phone Sex And Cybersex Halal Or Haram?

Phone sex is allowed between spouses. But not if the objective is to help one or both of the spouses masturbate. Similarly, Cybersex is also allowed.

Using Food During Foreplay

Using food as a prop during sex is allowed. As long as you keep it away from the genitalia, don’t let it touch filth, and don’t waste any of it.

Conclusion

I’ll close out this article by making this important point: The Muslim World used to be far more sexually progressive than we are today.

My hypothesis is that due to Western cultural hegemony, Muslims reacted by rejecting the West’s sexual permissiveness in order to preserve our Islamic heritage. In doing so, we have thrown the baby out with the bathwater and rejected what is perfectly halal for us enjoy, of the ways between a man and a woman. The Sahaba were more liberal than the conservative Muslims of today and more conservative than the liberal Muslims of today.

Imam Al-Suyuti allegedly wrote a sex manual entitled “Nawadir Al-Ayk” as an appendix to a longer book on the benefits of marriage called “Al-Wishah min Fawa’id al-Nikah.” In it, he lists more than 48 sexual positions – laying down, on one’s side, seated, standing, and on one’s knees. He also mentions techniques for delaying orgasm and different ways to move the penis. He also discusses female orgasm and affirms that women like different things. He also includes a how-to for pleasurable sex. The Imam also opined the best sex manual was “Tuhfat al-’Arus wa-Nuzhat al-Nufus,” by Abu Abdillah ibn Ahmad al-Bija’i.

Imam Al-Ghazali’s Ihya Uloom Al-Din also has a section in the chapter on marriage on how best to have sex. He mentions, for example, that the minimum frequency of sexual intimacy should be once every 4 days unless one has a valid excuse, that the husband should continue to penetrate the wife until she reaches orgasm if he climaxes before her, and other specifics.

Look, people. Let’s use some common sense here. Get married, hump each other’s brains out, and have screaming orgasms. Just don’t stick it in her butt or in her vag when she’s bleeding. And don’t swallow any cum or precum (husband or wife.) That pretty much covers everything you need to know about halal and haram sex.

Footnotes

1. “The guideline is that everything is allowed EXCEPT anal sex and period sex.” Yes, and one more thing is relevant apropos the discussion: ingesting filth.

2. Semen is mustaqdhar (gross) — not najis. It is unlawful to ingest gross things. That’s in the event that someone were able to ejaculate without pre-cum rendering it filthy.

3. Some vaginal secretions are considered pure, others filthy. They are mucus, which makes them mustaqdhar even if tahir. So licking and sucking the clitoris is fine, while doing the vagina runs into the aforementioned problem.

4. Why can’t they be inserted into the vagina? Reasoning is needed. Fingers are fine. But the general rule is that your genitals are halal only to your spouse. Inanimate objects require research.