Bints Wanna Marry an Akh Who Has Read This Book

We interviewed Huda, a Canadian living in the US, about her experience discovering and reading 40 Hadith on Masculinity: How to Be a Good Man. The video above is her testimonial. You can also read a transcript of her answers below.

Transcript

MM: Please introduce yourself to our audience.

H: My name is Huda. I'm 33 years old and I work for a tech company on the brand team as a designer. But my background is actually in business and marketing.

MM: How did you first hear about MuslimMan™?

H: I heard about your book first so I actually didn't know about MuslimMan™ until... It's kind of a long story how I even got to your book. If you want me to share it I can share it. I was on Twitter and I don't know if you heard of these very popular Muslim men these days that are criticizing secular liberalism.

There's the Dannys (Daniel Haqiqatjou) and all these people. So I was kind of intrigued because they were getting really popular. So I was on their Twitter and then one thing led to another guy you know when you're just like exploring other people's accounts.

So I got on some guy named Abdullah's Twitter, and he has this magazine called Qawwam for like men and how to be masculine and stuff. And my personal interest in learning more about men is because I'm divorced so I feel like I didn't pick the right guy for me.

And I didn't even know what to look for. So whenever there's something that's a resource for me that I can learn more about men just for my personal knowledge I usually look into it some more. So I started reading the magazine and from the magazine there was an excerpt of your introduction of your book. And I was like oh my god this is such a great book.

Everything that I was experiencing when dealing with men the introduction put it into words. It addressed it perfectly and I was like this is literally my problem. And um I was like I have to get this book and I have to read what is actually a good man. Because it's hard for me to recognize because you really don't know what it is. You know little things here and there but this book would be like a perfect manual just to find what the perfect partner would look like and what traits to look for and what characteristics.

And the fact that it's even based on the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who is the best of characters this is perfect because it's Islamic and addresses my actual real world problem these days. So yeah I bought it like right away.

MM: We asked everyone who bought the book if we could interview them. Some of them replied saying they hadn’t read it yet.

H: I was so excited to read it. I couldn't wait to read it. I just feel like people like men especially I don't know why they just don't read anymore to be honest. There's so many men who are just like yeah I don't read and they say it so proudly. That's not like a good quality to have. And even in one of your chapters where you're like seek knowledge that's the way everyone should be doing seeking knowledge. But they're just so into their own world and shows and music and this and that things that don't even matter.

MM: Tell us about your experience and what you felt while reading the book.

H: As I was reading it I was just thinking if I was a man this is literally the perfect book for me because it tells me everything I need to be a good man in this modern day. Especially when it comes to the first couple of chapters I read them like a lot of times. Just because they're general basic like how you should be as a good Muslim. Starting off with the intentions I thought that was a really good chapter to put as the first chapter because your intentions in Islam are everything and the baseline for everything that you do. I kept reflecting on my experiences with men and what this book is saying and there's just such a difference.

Especially when it comes to the self sufficient man. That chapter I really liked as well just because I feel like a lot of men are very dependent these days on their moms or their wives. Every man needs to read that chapter to be like self sufficient on your own in this world. You should be a well rounded person and know all of these things. And my favorite section was probably the interpersonal man because that kind of shows how they should be treating like women and other like people you interact with in the world.

Especially on chapter 23 so I have the book open here just to reference. How he treats women I feel like that was a really important chapter. And I had a lot of moments as well where I was like this is like the correct way to do things Islamically as well.

And it changed my view too because I'm not going to sit here and be like men are this men are that and women are not influenced by this modern secular world. We're influenced too because when it comes to like topics like polygamy where a lot of women are like oh no that's not cool.

But the more you look into it the more it makes sense because you can't be like oh a man should be like this but a woman we can keep our views right? So that chapter really helped me like understand where men come from and what their mindset is. Islam already understands how a man thinks and how a man should be.

So that chapter really helped me normalize things that are already normal in Islam. Just normalize that more and not fall into this modern world of yeah polygamy is bad or whatever if that makes sense.

MM: Were there any other chapters than jumped out at your or gave you “aha” moments?

H: Chapter 22 about gheerah I was vaguely familiar with that concept but this chapter explained it really well. It totally makes sense to me because sometimes online you hear these words. I keep seeing this word called dayyouth and I was like what does that even mean? I didn't know a lot of the meanings. And I love how this book has stories to explain further reiterate what the Hadith was saying. So the story really made sense and that just put it into perspective for me about what gheerah actually should be for like a man and even a woman to because women should be aware of a man's gheerah and not do things to push that boundary.

And I love how it was divided into different types of gheerah too. Allah loves I hope I'm pronouncing it right gheerah. But there's some types that he hates as well. So I liked how that was addressed. And also throughout the book wherever fiqh or the law was mentioned it was really useful as well. Like that hunting chapter where you're just like okay can I just take out of my gun and just hunt? It really addressed like how you should be hunting. This book was really well written Mashallah.

MM: Is there anything else you’d like to add that we didn’t ask you about?

H: I actually came up with some reviews for the book on my own if you want to use them. So I just kind of typed it out so it's more cohesive and sounds better. Sometimes I like writing out my thoughts. I think I'm better at it than communicating. As a woman reading this book I find that I'm really aware now of the qualities I should be looking for a partner and I feel like these are the qualities that will bring fulfillment in my future marriage inshallah and just serve as an exemplary role model for my children.

I've been recommending this book to my brothers and any man. I'm like you need this book. Okay just read this book. I feel like this book really serves as a comprehensive guide to navigate the complexities of modern manhood. And just by embracing the principles laid out in here and the guidance you can really find fulfillment in your journey as a man while navigating this modern world. And it's just a really good reminder to stay steadfast in our devotions and teaching of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. It provides timeless wisdom and insight for those seeking guidance.

MM: What would you say to somebody who's considering buying the book but is skeptical?

H: Yeah I feel like women who are in my position who are searching for an ideal partner definitely you should read this book. Because also from this book I kind of set up my my marriage online profile with it too. They'll ask you tell us about yourself and tell us what you're looking for.

And in the section where they're like tell us what you're looking for I literally took extracts from this book. I need someone who does this this and this. And I also use this book as a kind of like a guide to make questions to ask these men as well just to see what type of man you are.

And now that you know the correct answers and what to look for you can frame your questions based on that as well. So I think it's a great book for women who are looking for like a decent man described in this book. And for men I think we should just go back to our original role model Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and he was like the ultimate the greatest man.

Yeah you're against the modern day liberalism and secularism and all that. So you should kind of fix yourself no I don't want to say fix yourself. I feel like you should also use this book as a guide and use the principles in this book to um know how to navigate that world that you're trying to live in and just be that role model of a man. Because this is how like naturally a man should be right and if you're a good role model as a man and people see you as like oh wow that's like a real man other men will look at you and you can be a role model for them as well. And those can be like the non Muslims and these people who feel the same about how you feel about what's happening in this world.

MM: We appreciate you taking the time to do this interview with us. Thank you.

H: I thank you so much for writing this book. It really helped me understand all of this because I'm still like learning as well. And I'm very curious and I want to I know a lot of women are always like bashing men oh they're toxic this and that. But I want to know like why what you want to critically think about this right? You want to know what the issues are. And especially after being divorced I was like what did I do wrong? How did I pick the wrong person? I didn't know anything about men to be honest. I started from zero. And now I just feel like okay now I know what to look for.

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If you’ve bought a copy of 40 Hadith on Masculinity: How to Be a Good Man AND read it, we’d like to interview you about your experience with the book. Simply reply to this email or send a message to [email protected] and we’ll take care of the rest.